Listening to your Body
How to Decode Stress Signals and Feel Better
Hi there, and welcome. I’m Helen, a massage therapist with a passion for helping women reconnect with their bodies. I spent 25 years in Human Resources, leading teams of people and lost count of the number of women I saw burning out. Women who were holding down careers, running households, supporting everyone around them, and somehow expecting themselves to manage it all with a smile. They left themselves last on their to-do list, every time.
And yes, unfortunately, I was one of them.
I know first hand what it’s like to wake up exhausted and still push through, to feel the creeping tension in your neck and shoulders and tell yourself, I’ll deal with it later. I’ve been the person who tries to “power through” the warning signs, only to end up paying a much higher price later. Stress has a way of showing up in sneaky ways - tight muscles, fatigue, irritability, headaches, that feeling of being “on edge” for no reason. And the truth is, it’s so easy to ignore these signals because we’ve been conditioned to keep going, no matter what.
But, as the old as the old saying goes:
“I you don’t schedule a break, your body will schedule one for you, and it probably won’t be at a convenient time.”
This guide is for women who want to feel safer and more at home in their own body. It’s for anyone who suspects their body might be trying to tell them something, but they’re not quite sure how to listen, or they’ve been too busy to try.
In this guide, we will explore how stress shows up in your body, why rest can feel so hard to prioritise, and I will share some practical, gentle ways to lower stress and reconnect with yourself.
My intention is simple: to help you recognise stress signals early, understand what your body is telling you, and take small, realistic steps towards feeling better. No guilt, no “shoulds,” no complicated routines. Just tools that work and reminders that you can adapt to fit your life.
Think of this guide as a conversation with a friend: a kindly hand reaching out to help you notice what’s happening inside your body, a gentle voice encouraging you to pause without judgment.
You may wish to keep a notebook nearby to jot down any ideas or reflections that resonate with you as you go. This isn’t about doing everything perfectly; it’s about starting to listen and noticing what works for you, one small moment at a time.
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What’s covered in this guide?
1. What is the Mind/Body Connection?
2. Common Stress Signals in the Body - includes a stress checklist
3. Why Rest is Hard, But Necessary - includes a rest reflection exercise
4. How to Support Your Body - includes some small but mighty tools to reset your body
5. How to Start Listening
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1. What is the Mind/Body Connection?
You’ve probably heard people talk about “listening to your body” or “stress in your body.”
But what does that really mean in real life?
Understanding the mind-body connection is vitally important when we are trying to take care of our general wellbeing. The mind and body are constantly communicating. The thoughts, feelings and beliefs in your mind don’t stay there - they have a very real impact on how your body feels. And the reverse is also true: what’s going on in your body influences your mood, focus, and emotional wellbeing.
Think about it: your mind processes your thoughts, emotions, and beliefs. When something is worrying you, your body can respond with a racing heart, tense shoulders, shallow breathing, or a knot in your stomach. That’s your body’s way of “speaking” to you.
Sometimes it whispers and sometimes it shouts.
In the same way, the way we treat our bodies, such as what we eat, how we move, how much rest we get, feeds back into our mental and emotional state. A night of poor sleep doesn’t just make you tired; it can leave you more irritable, less patient, and more prone to negative thinking.
A Holistic Way of Seeing Yourself
Understanding the mind–body connection means we stop looking at our health as separate “parts” and start seeing the whole picture. It’s no longer just about treating a stiff neck or calming racing thoughts; it’s about recognising how one affects the other.
For example, I know that when I take my dog for a walk in the woods or by the sea, I’m doing it for his health, but I’m also doing it for mine - both my body and my mind. The fresh air clears my head, movement eases my muscles, and nature works its quiet magic on my mood.
I also notice patterns.
When I feel that familiar ache in my neck, it’s almost always during times of stress or when I’ve been mentally “carrying” too much. Equally, when I’m calm, rested, and content, it’s much easier for me to be compassionate, grateful, and present.
If you are finding the mind-body connection interesting, you could widen your reading to explore the mind-body-spirit connection. Our spirit is like our inner essence, linked to our consciousness, but in this guide, we will be focussing purely on the mind-body connection.
The “Sciency” Bit (Made Simple)
The connection between the body and mind is biological. We all have proteins in our brains called neuropeptides. Neuropeptides are involved in the regulation of many physiological functions in the body, including acting as a messenger, carrying information throughout your body.
They’re like text messages between your thoughts and your cells.
Stem cell biologist Bruce H. Lipton, PhD, author of The Biology of Belief, explains that ‘Our minds are responsible for taking everything that we perceive in the external world and creating our own unique interpretation of it. This is the mind’s attempt to establish coherence between our internal beliefs and our external reality. Our bodies then respond to these perceptions by releasing chemicals that affect our physical health and well-being… for better or for worse. Should our beliefs about the world and about ourselves be negative, the result is inevitably distress, disharmony, and disease in our bodies’.
Why Does This Matter?
This isn’t just a wellness buzzword; it’s a survival mechanism. Your body is wired to protect you, even if your conscious mind doesn’t always fully understand what’s happening.
Think of it like a car:
the engine might start making a strange noise before anything breaks. Those little warning signs are your chance to act before a bigger problem develops. Your body works the same way - it’s always giving you clues about what it needs.
When your mind is at peace, your body tends to function at its best, and you feel more content and more at home in yourself. When you ignore or override those signals for too long, that’s when imbalances - physical, mental, emotional, or all three - start to show up.
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2. Common Stress Signals in the Body
Stress doesn’t wear the same outfit for everyone. Sometimes it’s obvious, like feeling anxious before a big meeting, but more often, it shows up quietly in the background, woven into your everyday life until it becomes “just how things are.”
Your body is an incredible communicator.
It’s constantly sending you messages about what it needs, but those messages aren’t always in plain language. Instead of saying, “You’re overwhelmed”, your body might choose a stiff neck, a restless night’s sleep, or an upset stomach to get your attention.
Here are some common ways stress can speak through your body:
Muscle tension – Often in your neck, shoulders, jaw, or lower back. This can feel like tightness, stiffness, or even a dull ache. It’s your body’s way of bracing itself, as if preparing for impact, even when no physical danger is present.
Frequent headaches or migraines – These can be caused by a mix of muscle tension, changes in blood flow, and the chemical shifts that happen under stress.
Digestive changes – Your stomach and intestines are highly sensitive to stress hormones. This might show up as nausea, bloating, diarrhoea, constipation, or general “butterflies.”
Racing thoughts or anxiety – When your body is in fight-or-flight mode, it keeps your mind on high alert, making it hard to relax or focus.
Insomnia or restless sleep – Stress chemistry can keep you in a “half awake” state, making deep, restorative sleep harder to achieve.
“Wired but tired” feeling – That strange combination of exhaustion and over-alertness, like your body wants to rest but your mind won’t switch off.
You Are Not Broken
It’s important to understand that these symptoms are not signs of weakness or failure. Your body is simply responding in the only way it knows how to keep you safe.
When your mind perceives a threat, whether it’s a looming work deadline, a tricky family conversation, or a mountain of unwashed laundry, your body reacts as though you’re facing a tiger in the wild. Your heart rate quickens, muscles tense, and digestion slows, all in the name of survival.
You may have heard of this described as the “fight or flight” response.
The trouble is, modern “threats” don’t resolve as neatly as outrunning a tiger. They can last days, weeks, or months, leaving your body in a near-constant state of alert.
Your Stress Signature
Everyone has their own unique “stress signature.” For one person, it might be tension headaches. For another, it’s a twitchy eyelid, digestive upset, or an overwhelming need for a nap.
Mine is my neck. Always.
When I notice that it’s sore to turn my neck to the side, I know that’s my nudge to sit up and listen.
The key is to start noticing your patterns. What shows up in your body when life gets busier, noisier, or heavier? These are your personal “early warning signs,” and they’re gold when it comes to preventing burnout.
Stress Signals Checklist:
Take a moment to reflect. When you’re under pressure, which of these signals show up for you? Put a checkmark beside the ones you’ve noticed.
☐ Tightness in my shoulders, neck, jaw, or back
☐ Frequent headaches or migraines
☐ Upset stomach, nausea, or digestive changes
☐ Racing thoughts that won’t switch off
☐ Trouble falling asleep or staying asleep
☐ Feeling exhausted even after resting
☐ Jaw clenching or teeth grinding
☐ Restlessness—unable to sit still or relax
☐ Forgetfulness, brain fog, or difficulty concentrating
☐ Rapid heartbeat, shallow breathing, or chest tightness
☐ Feeling easily irritated or emotionally “snappy”
☐ Overeating, loss of appetite, or cravings for sugar/caffeine
☐ Low motivation, procrastination, or withdrawal
☐ Feeling “on edge” without knowing why
Make a note of any of your own signals:
How to Use This:
Don’t aim to check everything. Most people have just a handful of signals that show up consistently.
Think of these as your body’s unique “stress language.”
Over time, noticing them early gives you the chance to pause, reset, and care for yourself before stress builds up further.
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3. Why Rest is Hard, But Necessary
Let’s be honest: rest can feel almost impossible. Even when your body is begging for a pause, there’s often a little voice in your head whispering:
“Just one more email. Just one more load of laundry. Just push through.”
Why is it so difficult to stop? A lot of it comes down to cultural pressure, guilt, and old conditioning. Many of us were raised to believe that productivity equals worth. We’ve absorbed messages like “hard work pays off,” “sleep is for the weak,” and “rest when you’re dead.”
These ideas may push us to succeed, but they also keep us running on empty.
Over time, we learn to ignore our body’s quiet nudges for rest, until those nudges become whispers, shouts and finally screams in the form of pain, exhaustion, or illness.
👉 Rest isn’t a luxury. Rest isn’t indulgent. Rest is a biological necessity.
What Happens When We Rest
Rest isn’t “doing nothing.” It’s an active process where your body gets busy with essential repair work:
Nervous system recalibrates, shifting out of “fight-or-flight” mode and into “rest-and-digest mode.”
Hormones balance - stress chemicals like cortisol reduce, while serotonin and melatonin support relaxation and sleep.
Muscles recover from daily strain, tension eases, and healing accelerates.
Mental clarity returns - your brain processes and files away the day’s experiences, leaving you sharper and calmer.
Without rest, stress signals get louder. What begins as tight shoulders or trouble sleeping can escalate into chronic pain, mood swings, or full burnout.
Why We Resist Rest
Guilt: Sitting down feels like slacking off while others keep going.
Productivity culture: We equate “busy” with “successful,” so stillness feels wrong.
Fear of what might come up: Quiet moments can surface emotions we’ve been avoiding.
Habit: Constant activity can become so normal that rest feels uncomfortable at first.
Think of it like charging your phone. You wouldn’t expect your battery to last forever without plugging it in.
Your body works the same way.
Everyday Rest Can Look Like:
Pausing for a cup of tea without multitasking.
Lying down for 10 minutes with your eyes closed between tasks.
A gentle walk in nature where you leave your phone behind.
Breathing deeply in the car before heading into work or home.
Saying “no” to one thing, so you can say “yes” to your well-being.
🌿 Rest Reflection Exercise
Take a few quiet minutes with a pen and paper (or your journal) to explore your relationship with rest.
Step 1: Notice Your Beliefs
When I think about resting, the first word that comes to mind is: __________
I was taught growing up that rest means: __________
The biggest barrier that keeps me from resting is: __________
Step 2: Reframe Rest
One small way I could see rest as supportive instead of selfish is: __________
If my best friend told me she was tired and needed to rest, I would tell her: __________
Step 3: Commit to a Pause
Today, I will give myself permission to rest by:
☐ Taking a 10-minute break without my phone
☐ Sitting with a warm drink and nothing else
☐ Closing my eyes and breathing deeply for 5 minutes
☐ Saying “no” to one non-essential task
☐ Other: __________
💡 Tip: Keep it light! Rest doesn’t need to be an hour-long ritual. Even a few minutes of genuine stillness signals safety to your nervous system and begins to restore balance. Try committing to one rest goal for 7 days and see how it makes you feel. You could then try adding in one more, and again after 7 days, see how it has made you feel.
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4. How to Support Your Body
Supporting your body doesn’t have to mean overhauling your lifestyle, buying expensive equipment, or committing to hours of daily rituals. In fact, the most effective supports are often the simplest; the little things you do consistently, not the big things you do once in a while.
Think of these practices as gentle invitations. They’re not rules, and there’s no “perfect” way to do them. Try one, see how it feels, and let your body guide you toward what works best.
Small but Mighty Tools to Reset Your Body
Stretch for 2–3 minutes: Roll your shoulders, stretch your arms overhead, or tilt your head side-to-side. You’ll be surprised how quickly a small stretch can release built-up tension.
Take a micro-break: Stand up, sip some water, look out the window, or step outside for a breath of fresh air. These tiny pauses give your nervous system a chance to reset.
Move in a way you enjoy: This could be a short walk, a quick kitchen dance, or even swaying gently while listening to your favourite song. Joyful movement counts.
Massage or self-touch: Rub your temples, roll your palms together, or give your shoulders a quick squeeze. Human touch, even your own, can calm your nervous system.
Breath awareness: Pause for 4–5 deep, slow breaths. It doesn’t need to be formal meditation; just an intentional reset to remind your body it’s safe.
Think “Micro-Doses” of Care
Supporting your body doesn’t need to be an all-or-nothing thing. Think of these tools as micro-doses of self-care. A two-minute stretch or three deep breaths sprinkled through your day can make a bigger difference than one big ritual you can never stick to.
One tip I always share with my clients with pets is every time your pet stretches, you stretch.
You’ll be surprised how many times our pets stretch in a day and they innately know their body needs it. If you don’t have pets, you could find another reminder such as every time you check your phone, or make a cup of tea for example. It might feel a bit silly at first, but overtime, even just a few weeks, you’ll likely feel a difference.
👉 These tools are invitations, not prescriptions. Try one or two, notice how your body responds, and let go of anything that doesn’t feel supportive. This is about learning your body’s language, not forcing it into someone else’s routine.
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5. How to Start Listening
Learning to listen to your body isn’t something most of us were taught. In fact, many of us were encouraged to do the opposite: push through, tough it out, keep going. But listening is a skill and like any skill, it can be practiced, refined, and strengthened over time. You don’t need to get it “perfect.” You just need to begin.
Start Small, Start Simple
Notice First
When a symptom shows up such as tight shoulders, or a racing heart, or a headache, pause and simply observe it. Try to get curious instead of critical. Is it a dull ache? A sharp pinch? A heavy tiredness? Naming it begins the process of listening.Check In with Location
Ask yourself: “Where do I feel this in my body?” Is the tension in your jaw? The heaviness in your chest? The flutter in your stomach? Locating it helps you connect more directly to what your body is trying to share.Breathe with It
Even one slow, deliberate breath can send a signal of safety to your nervous system. Inhale gently, exhale fully. Think of it like telling your body: “I hear you. You’re not alone.”Move if You Want To
Sometimes your body wants movement like rolling your shoulders, standing up, stretching your legs, or even shaking your hands out. Other times it may want stillness. Listening means following what feels right in the moment.Journal or Voice Notes
Putting your sensations into words, whether on paper or recorded in your phone, can be powerful. It creates a bridge between mind and body, helping you notice patterns over time.
One client of mine used to get sudden headaches during work meetings. Her instinct was always to push through, take some painkillers, clench her jaw, and keep going. When we worked together, I encouraged her to simply notice when the tension began. She started pausing for two slow breaths and gently self-massaging her forehead and temples. Over time, she found the headaches didn’t disappear but they were less intense. The magic wasn’t in a complicated treatment plan, but in paying attention early and responding with compassion.
Practical Listening Prompts
Try asking yourself gentle questions when something arises:
“What might my body be needing right now?”
“Does this sensation feel new, or is it familiar?”
“What happens if I give it just 30 seconds of attention?”
Re-learning the Language of Your Body
Listening is not about achieving perfection. It’s about practice. Most of us have been conditioned to tune out, ignore, or override our body’s whispers. So learning to tune back in takes patience and compassion. Think of it as re-learning a language you once spoke fluently as a child, but somehow lost along the way. Every sigh you notice, every stretch you allow yourself, every moment of awareness; it all counts.
These are signs that you’re rebuilding trust with your own body.
Celebrate the Small Wins
Healing doesn’t arrive in one grand moment. It arrives in tiny, everyday choices.
Taking a slow breath when your heart is racing.
Lying down for five minutes without guilt.
Drinking water instead of powering through another coffee.
Stretching your neck between tasks.
These may seem small, but they add up to something big: a new way of being. A way that is kinder, more connected, and more sustainable. Here’s something wonderful to remember: your body is naturally wired for healing. It is constantly seeking balance and repair. When you give it rest, attention, and kindness, it responds.
Often in gentle, surprising ways.
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A Final Word of Encouragement
You are not broken. You are not behind. You are simply learning to listen again.
Think of this as a homecoming. Each moment you pause to notice your body is a step closer to safety, wholeness, and ease. Trust that your body knows the way - it always has. All you need to do is listen.
I hope this guide has given you some useful takeaways. Want to chat more? Contact me using the details below or the form on my contact page.
